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The pandemic. Keeping it real.

Pandemic America: Land of the Free and Home of the Toddler

The fitness center staff grimaced as I swiped my ID card. But it wasn’t me or my cracked card that caused her grief. In the gym I saw the unmasked meathead and his female companion lifting heavy weights, meathead with mask in his hand as he directed lifting tips at his gal pal, who wore her mask below her chin. The staff member called to them to mask up and they ignored her.

This staff is about 5 feet tall, 90 lbs, and has cerebral palsy. I like her and we talk whenever I visit the gym. She is quiet, unflappable, smart, and kind. A friendly face to meet me at the desk.

Next, she turned off the music and asked them to mask up over the speakers. They ignored her. After that she called them out by name. They ignored her. Now she pulled herself up from her chair behind the desk and began her laborious walk across the gym floor. Also exercising was a Black woman older than me, another old beardy White guy like me, and two college age men, all of whom looked annoyed and wary.

I ambled toward meathead, timing my amble to arrive beside the gym staff. The gal pal pulled on her mask and the guy covered only his mouth. I said you need to cover your nose. He said it’s kind of tough cause I’m working out. I said you need to cover your nose too. He said it’s hard to breathe. I said maybe you should leave if it’s too hard to breathe while wearing a mask at the gym. You need to cover your nose. What if I don’t want to? Ahh. A petulant toddler. I’ve raised four toddlers, so I knew what to do here. You need to cover your nose or maybe you should leave if it’s too hard to exercise.

He is a muscular large meathead 15-20 years younger. I was wearing my mask while lifting and cycling. The other people were also properly masked. I repeated, Maybe you should leave if you can’t wear a mask while exercising. Again. Maybe you should leave. He pulled it over his nose, making a big show of it. His gal mumbled something at him. He would have to admit he is feeble if he could not wear a mask properly when all others, most of them older people such as myself, can wear a mask properly during sweaty cardio/aerobic activities. Check-mate.

I exercised. They masked up, grunted, and left.

By markthegrey

I am a biologist, author, poet, professor, and parent. I nest in Aurora, IL with my spouse and about two to four kids.

3 replies on “Pandemic America: Land of the Free and Home of the Toddler”

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